say sorry

Dad : Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her Son : (goes over to the aunt) Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid. “首长好”与“手掌好” 　 一青年骑车时，双手放开车龙头，样子很自在，一个交通警察看见了，急忙提醒他：“手掌好！”青年听见了，得意的朝警察挥了挥手，颇有毛泽东的风范，回答道：“同志们辛苦了！” h to o Teacher: Spell 'WATER', Girl : HIJKLMNO. Teacher: That doesn't spell 'WATER', Girl : Yes, it does it's all the letters from 'H to O'. 请你向后走些 　乘客：“司机同志，就是这儿。请问车钱是多少？” 司机：“12元。” 乘客：“对不起，我身边只有10元，请向后面走一些。” 你的幽默感 女：你喜欢我天使的臉脸孔，还是魔鬼的身材？男：我……我喜欢你的幽默感。 how did shakespeare write master pi Teacher: How do u think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces? College student: With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B. 买车 　一天下午，有一个傻子花3000买了一两北京机普，修车花了2万多！这天下午，他去钓鱼，玩潇洒，厂棚开！钓了一下午的，什么也没钓这，却钓了一条小鲫鱼，这是他开车回家，结果一打活把大灯烧啦！他正在发愁怎么办！突然他看见前面有一辆桑卡纳！哦！这尾灯亮呀！平我多年的开车经验，跟着你尾灯也到家啦~！开了一会，只听一声响，前面的司机都哭啦~！说：我跟你有仇呀，我车都进库啦！你怎么还闯呀！ 羞于启齿 害羞的小李久久不敢向女朋友求婚。女朋友忍不住问他：“小李，是不是有话对我说？”小李吞吞吐吐地答道：是，是的，我想……想问你，你愿意死后葬在我家的祖坟吗？”....... thank goodness Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school. That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when u told her u are the only child? She just said, 'Thank goodness!' all of me Teacher: Where were u born? Student: Singapore, Sir. Teacher: Which part? Student: All of me, Sir. 作好事 　在一列火车上，一位女士尿急，匆匆茫茫的跑进厕所，也没来得急关门，留了一条小逢。一个色狼从这里走过，无意见看见了里边的女人，就偷偷看她尿尿。看得正高兴，上厕所的女人自言自语的说：“哎呀，忘了带纸了！”这个男人下意识的把纸扔给了她，女的猛的说：“谁？”男的不知所错，喊了一句：“雷锋。” missed school Teacher: Chong, u missed school last Friday. Chong : You're wrong, Sir. Teacher: Wrong, how is that? Chong : I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it! 女人咏叹调 人品好的男人都长得丑。长得帅的男人都不好。又帅又好的男人都是同性恋。又帅又好又不闹同性恋的男人都结了婚。不大帅而人品好的男人都没钱。不大帅人品好而没钱的男人都以为我们想谋他们的钱。 长得帅而没钱的男人都想谋我们的钱。 长得帅人品不大好有点同性恋的男人觉得我们长得不够标致。 觉得我们长得够标致，人品凑合，又有钱，但不闹同性恋的男人都是胆小鬼。 长得还凑合，人品也凑合，钱也有一点，谢天谢地还不闹性恋的男人嘛，又都羞答答的从来不会采取主动！ 而一旦我们采取主动，他们马上就对我们失去兴趣！！唉，男人啊男人！！！ What would have been different if B 1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders 2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle 3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa 5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos 6. The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse 7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Freebird! 8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt 10. Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++ 11. Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag 12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word 13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts 14. New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear? 15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called Cuz 16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans-Am 17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse 18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver 19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire 20. Speadsheet software would include examples in inventory dead cars in your front yard 21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates 23. Instead of asking where do you want to go today? it's more like Hey mister, can I ketch a ridein the back? 24. Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad