NEW Barbie dolls

At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide withHer and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...1. BIFOCALS BARBIE. Comes with her own set of blended-lensfashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chainand large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.2. HOT FLASH BARBIE. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch herface turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear onher forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.3. FACIAL HAIR BARBIE. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.4. FLABBY ARMS BARBIE. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with thesenew, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,too - muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.5. BUNION BARBIE. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe hersores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.6. NO-MORE-WRINKLES-BARBIE. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lineswith a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusiveage-blasting cosmetics.7. SOCCER MOM BARBIE. All that experience as a cheer-leaderis really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high schoolmegaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan inrobin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holesand fruit punch.8. MID-LIFE CRISIS BARBIE. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbieneeds a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just whatthe doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in hernew red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B.Includes a real tape of Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.9. DIVORCED BARBIE. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house,Ken's car, and Ken's boat. 10. RECOVERY BARBIE. Too many parties have finally caught up withthe ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dancesteps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comeswith a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.11. POST-MENOPAUSAL BARBIE. This Barbie wets her pants when shesneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonusthis year, the book Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self is included.