他因为工作出差刚到日本机场,而我则感到台北机场,算是传说中的擦肩而过,所以他遗憾的对我说:we missed each other,而我呢,纯属即兴调侃的来了一句:no,we found each other even the world is so large.(我是日文专业的,英语早就就饭吃了,说的不好,别笑话俺哈)。于是,故事就在这个玩笑中渐渐展开了。
因为个人一些原因,打算回国,所以在考虑要不要尝试继续跟他走下去。想听听大家过来人的看法。 我呢,比较一根筋,属于新时代的传统思想女人,学不会脚踩2只船,如果有一艘,就不会去看第2艘,除非把这艘船直接换掉。 也跟他探讨过,在一起主要两个问题,一是距离,二是语言问题(我是日文系的,英语就中学那些课本的,都还给老师差不多了) 他回答我的一句话我很喜欢,If people want there is a way。 告诉我,针对第一个问题,他在考虑调到上海,针对第二个问题,他中文只会数数,所以必须我要好好学英语(好嘛!30来岁的人了,重新啃英语。。。鸭梨很大)
有一次聊天,说到两人在一起重要的是什么,因为我一直担心彼此的文化差异和语言的沟通,毕竟我老人家是日语的,英语多少年没接触了不说,这把年纪记忆单词实在是费尽,但结论是,只要人善,彼此相爱,彼此愿意并保持良好的沟通,其它的就都不是问题了。他回答加了句:Loving and Making love. 我很反感男人跟我谈论性这个话题,但人在海外,也能理解这方面的文化差异,连日本的电视节目都很公开谈论,但手快,还是打了一句惊叹:so Open! 他笑了笑,说,很抱歉,我们确实很open。于是我顺势问了,既然如此open,而且你对性如此感兴趣,怎么会不找女人呢?他也很直接的告诉我,在德国,存在着一夜情,但都是年轻人喜欢玩的游戏,一般过了30岁,这个就变得不重要了,更倾向于性格。 我很喜欢这样坦诚的回答,或许是自己伤的不想回到过去,也或许是伤痛让我变得豁达,我完全不在乎一个人的过去什么样子。听够了男人的谎言,反倒这样的坦诚,坦白,让我觉得很安心。好感也就进了一步。
他经常喜欢让我发照片给他,我开始的时候很不理解,总是拒绝,觉得男人不坏好意才要照片,后来当我开始慢慢的喜欢他,我也开始期待他的信息,照片,和Video了~这样才有真实感。也理解了这要求是很合乎情理的。说一个因为我的poor English引发的一个小笑话吧~ 昨天他再次要求我给他发照片,虽然人在日本,除非见客户,否则我都不化妆,于是发了张素颜过去。我不喜欢用外表来吸引男人,与其说不喜欢,甚至有些排斥~ Me:Sorry for no makeup X:I love you without makeup(貌似从昨天起,他之前说like,变成了love) Me:Thank you X:Show me what you wear please,so Cute Me:T shirt X:I like to see you in it:) Me:In it? X:like to see your face and upper body:) Me:Upper body?Body?? X:Body wearing tshirt:) Me:Surprised me。。。 X:Why?Just a respectful photo of a girl I like very very much. Me:Nothing:) X:Tell me Me:You said Europe men are open,so I misunderstood... X:what you understood?Naked photo?:) Me:I misunderstood you mean body...so.. X:Would be very wonderful and I would be very happy but would never ask for it as it is not respectful:) Me:Surprised me a lot-_-
As much as I like you,I feel more and more worried for you are so far away from me,not at my side.I don't know how to continue the relationship with the far distance in future. In fact,sometimes I really want to control my heart very well to keep away from you.what about your feeling?feel worried too?I know there must be a way to work out,but can't help being worried especially when I miss you but can't see you.I don't need shot relationship at all.I want to keep a relationship forever.
下面是他的回复, Thank you very much for sharing your feelings and concerns. I understand them And share them too, but i want to meet you first and then we can see how to continue. I think everything is possible in life if we want to and love will be stronger than distance. And if we love each other we find a way to live together :-)
我是這樣寫的 In fact,I feel you are not so enthusiastic as beginning,maybe you are very busy.but in my mind,if man doesn't contact with woman,there is usually 3 reaosns,1,busy;2,doesn't want to contact;3,doing other things wouldn't like to be disturbed.any reason of them,I shouldn't to disturb,and would never ask the reason,for if it's 2 or 3,means I'm not so important in his heart,if 1 and he is caring my feeling,I think he would tell me what he is doing without I ask.(smile) I haven't considered foreign men,or I should say I just wanted a north Chinese man in my mind before.But the special timing you met me,and you look like a very nice guy who is honest, active and optimistic which let me became to like you little by little ,and you wanted me to give a chance to us,so I'm trying my best to close to you,even though I didn't believe online and long distance affair before and don't know how to do it at all. I just want to tell you my feeling.If you would like to keep,tell me and let me can feel you,if you want to give up,please also tell me.If you would like to keep,I will never give up before you except you do sth I can really not forgive,will treat you like a man no matter foreign or not,and see you only and care you.but if you want to give up,I would like to treat you just like a normal friend and would like to give chance to others.
他收到后,回复给我的内容让我心里很踏实,他说I am sorry for not writing as often as at the beginning.Indeed a busy time, especially during business travel it is stressful and the time when i return as well.Now I am back with standard stress level at work so I will write more often again.I like to try with you because I believe as well that your character I very honest and open and lovely. I hope we can meet soon to find out in reality :)I am very happy that you give us a chance as well.Lets find out :-)
昨天是个特别的日子,所以很哈皮的穿了一件贴身显身材的连衣裙,拍了一些照片留作纪念。因为开心,所以索性就发给他几张,满足他此前不敢再提的body shape要求,以资鼓励。嘿嘿。 而且也因为这段日子的彼此聊天和视频,让我原本不是那么踏实的心,开始渐渐的觉得或许他真的是那个靠谱的人,为什么不能勇敢点尝试呢?再痛的都承受过了,生死关走过几招的人,还会怕再痛么?老天对我的考验训练应该已经差不多了,该赐给我一个好男人了。我该好好的去把握。 他收到照片很高兴,写了一段很长的简讯给我,让我觉得我应该没有看错这个男人:For sure your always attract men by your wonderful smile and beautiful eyes, but why not? ;-) important is that a relationship is not only based on this, but on the wonderful person behind those eyes. I don't want to feel bad by telling you are beautiful, it does not mean that I do not love your person behind. I actually feel optically more attracted of the person is wonderful. I believe I can see in eyes and smile :-) and seems I was not wrong with you, saw your eyes and smile first time and Believed a wonderful person must be behind and I still believe so.
他最近很忙,从视讯短信能看得出那满眼的疲惫。我选择相信他说的话。只是,没网恋过,真不知道是该保持安静等他忙过这段还是嘘寒问暖,要是身边的男友,我会照顾他,不过等忙完我肯定加倍'欺负'回来,嘿嘿,传说中的秋后算账。但,网恋呢?该干啥干啥不理他算了?又舍不得,嘘寒问暖吧?很多时候他都没时间回,感觉自己在玩独角戏。我曾问过他,你经常去上海出差,有微信,line,whatsapp很多聊天软件,要是开启附近人功能肯定能认识很多女孩,为什么你没认识别的女孩儿,发这条信息的时候,他那边是半夜,后来想想,自己怎么问这么蠢的问题,就又补了一条,当我没问吧。后来他还是回我了:I did not use this function in wechat in china actively and now that I have you I am not interested to use :) 收到还是觉得很温馨的。
遗憾的是他这次不能来日本出差了,他将搭乘今晚的航班飞往上海,呆一周然后直接回瑞士。据说这一周他会很忙,我依旧选择相信。 不过我这人肠子直,想问啥还是该问就问了。 我问他怎么看待网恋的,不过我没写online love哈~ 我只用的是online friends,怎么说咱中国女人还是比较含蓄滴。 他说他不擅长online friends,还是喜欢真实的见面。上网聊天是为了打发出差旅行时候的无聊时光。。。直到遇见你(丫嘴真甜),他说他非常喜欢一个未曾谋面的女人他也觉得很奇怪。(我更觉得奇怪好不好-_-) 我接着问,之前你问我说你给自己多少时间去遇到一个男人并结婚,有期限么?孩子呢?打算要几个?(K-A-O,那时候刚没聊多久,还是他那边一头热,我压根就没考虑过这个问题,更没考虑会跟他有这样的问题,so但是我就回他顺其自然吧,遇到了就遇到了,莫强求)结果今天想问他这个问题了,开始在意他的答案了。。。 他原话:Don’t have a time limit to find a girl,just important to love each other.if so I want to marry and have 2kids:) 然后继续跟我要背影的照片,想看我地长发,还很委屈滴说:That's the online problem.I need to keep asking instead of just looking...hehe (我头发确实挺长看上去还蛮多,长度到PP了,大卷,确实很多人反映比较引人注目,就是我懒得打理,经常凌乱地任期自由随意披散。。。)
楼主还是不满足于此问题,该问继续问,该说继续说。。。 我说实际上呢我希望能够尽快见到你,虽然我未曾给自己设定时间限制去找到一个男人,但是我希望有baby,考虑到年龄,我可能没有那么多时间,所以我希望能够在现实中感受到你我是否适合,是否有必要继续下去。我必须面对的一个现实是35以后生宝宝就很危险啦。(这段话我给同事的日本mm看了,mm笑的前仰后合,说俺太直白了,肯定把人家吓着啦~ 木办法,俺东北银就这性子,不会拐弯儿。。。汉语我都不拐,英语更不会拐了我) 但是他的回复还木有表示有害怕~ 反正我也看不到他啥表情,就当他是很淡定好了~ 他回复俺:yes,I understand and I don't want to wait longer than necessary.I want to meet you during my next trip,either in Japan or in China;)let's meet and decide:)
昨天聊了很久之后,他有提到这个话题,他说I sometimes think I start loving you without having met:)It is strange,I saw you first on photo and thought you look special,beautiful but also with strong character but good character.just by your photos.And after knowning more it become ture...you are a person I can fall in love with.That's special. 他说他对别的女人没有这样的感觉,不过反正嘴长他脸上,想咋说就咋说。
这几天他在上海出差,好象真的很忙,白天一天工作下来,晚上只有一个小时吃饭时间就要跟瑞士那边con call,昨晚工作到后半夜。。。 虽然说语言是最无力的,要看他做什么,但很多时候,语言却真的能触动你内心深处那一抹最温柔的地方。 比如我们讨论语言,我说我以后可以教你汉语和日文,你可以教我英语和德语。 他说,I teach you Germany so you can talk to my parents.Although they know a little English. 不知道他说的时候是否有意,但作为听者的我,觉得他有想把我介绍给家里人认识,所以他很自然的希望我去学德语,这让我觉得心里很暖。(这比什么好好学习天天向上的口号动力要强大N倍啊~) 再比如,有关远距离恋爱(网恋),我一直很不安,文中交代了,我是个比较直接的人,所以这些不安,直接导致我把A君的故事简单的在Video里面说给X哥哥听了。 昨天他忙,没空理我,刚抽空回给我下面的信息,让我觉得心里很踏实: I wanted to thank you for shareing your story and your concerns.I am happy that you trust me so much to tell me about it.I will tell you my story soon.I understand you now why you have concerns about distance and for sure distance will always be a challenge but nothing is impossile if we want.