☆When I heard two lads on the bus subjecting a young girl to vile verbal abuse, I felt I had to step in and help.
So I started insulting her too.
我在公交上听到两个小伙子辱骂一个年轻女孩，我想，我必须要站出来了。
于是我也开始骂她。
——WTD
☆My son was telling me about his history class yesterday about how all the African slaves were emancipated.
As I said to my son, why don't they just add fibre to thier diet or eat a few prunes , that will solve the problem.
儿子说他们昨天在历史课上学了非洲的奴隶是怎么被解放的。
我对儿子说：“那他们为什么不多吃高纤维食物和梅子呢？”
——Bigpat
#emancipated被解放的 音似constipated 便秘的
☆Update on Loch Ness monster being a whale's penis, the authorities have sent down four skin divers to investigate.
关于尼斯湖水怪疑似是鲸鱼阴茎这件事，当局已经派出了4位潜水员去调查。
——Stickyagain
#four skin音似foreskin 包皮
啊那我再考虑考虑
把交警绕晕了
帮帮你的同事吧
@Tsuixx：人一旦体会过不活了，就再也不会活了。
纯种天使
存钱好难
没什么区别啦
——almost100ghosts | webtoon
你完全不照镜子的吗？
因为知道自己找不到这个东西
【没品视频】我只是想把所有的小星星都送给妈妈你啊
——9GAG
在外面开会，主管请喝饮料，但我不知道该点什么好…
——kurtsunx
😢
——kbuddyartist
@狂舞的金牛：主人自己想安乐死，医生针扎偏了
@fcktomorrow：主人确诊了 它就上天堂了
☆Since Wall-E knew how to repair himself, he knows how to repair all the Wall-E corpses around him and chooses not to.
《机器总动员》里的瓦力知道怎么维修自己，那他也应该知道如何维修周围的机器人尸体，但他没有去修。
——Chadadonia
@贺呵呵QAQ：瓦乐意
☆When you are young, you try and convince people you are not tired and don't need to go to bed early, then when you are an adult, you try to convince people you are tired and need to bed early.
年轻的时候总是骗别人自己不累、不需要睡觉；成年之后却希望能让所有人以为自己很累、已经早早睡了。
——Furbs109
☆Hitting/yelling at children teaches them to hide their mistakes, rather than to use them as unfortunate learning opportunities.
打骂孩子没法让他们认识到自己的错误、只教会了他们隐藏自己的错误。
——nondescriptadjective
—End—
有什么其他想说的，可以在公号对话框里私信。
翻译&编辑：荒野／监督：诺北