For real
Most progress happens in the same way.
Slowly, almost unbearably slow, with what feels like not even an ounce of movement, and then, like a tidal wave, everything changes.
It took me six months to feel the forces of my life move but really I was working towards those changes for the years before.
Six years ago I was probably as miserable as I’d ever been in my entire life, six years later, I’m the polar opposite, here’s what I’ve been doing to turn things around.
Step 1: Stop looking for the golden ticket
I was mostly miserable because my career was not going the way I wanted it to. I was lost. I had no idea what I was good at, where I should focus my efforts, or how I should even think about my career.
And my lack of knowing was driving me mad. I was so keen to find my thing and then live out my dream.
I was relentlessly impatient and it was killing any progress.
Here’s the truth: nothing happens overnight. Nor does it happen in 6 months or a year.
I know, I’m sorry about the title, but this is the truth.
If you want to change your life, like really change your life, you have to accept that change happens over many years of small steps towards the person you want to be.
Step 2: Figure out how you want to spend your days
Not your job title, not your LinkedIn updates, not the thing you can brag about to your mates, but how you really want to spend your time.
Think about what types of work bring you joy, where you want to work, and what you want to be working on.
Those thoughts will turn out to be some of the most important you ever have. Here’s the thing, most people focus on the title, the money, or the career progression.
But the things that matter (that nobody talks about) are:
How long you spend in traffic
What you actually spend your time on
How much of a difference you feel you’re making
How much time you get to spend with your family
Some of that stuff hinges on money and of course, salary is a big factor but there are other considerations to make too.
Step 3: Figure out who you really want to be (and the cost)
I used to say all the time I wanted to be a runner.
I’d see someone on Facebook or Twitter doing a marathon or some sort of long-trail run and I would think, that’s it, I should be doing that. But then, I’d go outside for one run and realize how hard it was.
I sort of said it without realizing how hard it was.
I’m not sure, well there’s probably no way of knowing but in the end, what you are matters much less than who you are. Who means the real stuff, the person who cares, is kind, thoughtful, and loving.
Less so is the fluff. The occupation, the money, the house, the cars. All of that stuff though has a role, but it matters much less, and progressively less as life clocks on and the actual things that matter come to the surface.
Step 4: Spend time in this version of you
So often we’re trying to escape.
To run away from who we are now to who we want to be later. It’s the treadmill of sorts. This constant needing to be the next thing. It means that if you’re anything like me, or how I have been in the past, you never stop to take stock of your life, where you are, and be thankful for where you are.
Which is problematic because you’re racing forward without looking at what you have.
It makes you focus on all the stuff you don’t have rather than the abundance you do have in your life.
Spend time in this version of you. Accept that you have progress to make but you’ve also made significant progress and that’s worth marvelling at, even just for today.