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* 重点：文末口语转换表达，教你英语思维！
课程导读
今天在 #社交 栏目中，我们来聊聊“如何与人相处”，Let's talk about How to Win Friends And Influence People in our today's program.
《没有工作的一年》里的唐蕊比林有有还要气人！！曾经林有有凭借吃冰淇淋、蓝色烟花成为绿茶圈顶流，但是唐蕊出现后，真心觉得林有有段位低了些。唐蕊天天哥哥长哥哥短，哥哥出事你不管的样子，完胜林有有！
课程内容
在感情中，唯有真心才可贵，靠套路和手段上位的总会让人心生厌恶。
我们如何#如何辨别伴侣关系是否健康#？
爱是锦上添花，让两个人越来越好。
下面我们来看一位博主的分享（课程视频01:25处）
Here's one way to tell if you're in a healthy relationship and nobody is talking about this one. Do you practice loving detachment? Meaning that you know full well that your partner would do just fine without you. They'd be happy and thriving, but they choose to be with you and you also know you'd be the same. You do just fine without them. But you have such an abundance of happiness. You want to share with someone.
（告诉你们一个辨别伴侣关系是否健康的方式，这可是我独家的秘诀哦。你尝试过恋爱抽离吗？意思是你知道，就算你的伴侣没有你也会过得很好，他们一人也会开心快乐但是他们选择和你在一起，你知道自己也是如此。没有伴侣也能过得很好，但是你的快乐已经多到溢出来了。你想找一个人分享这些快乐。）
我们看看能学到什么
Carnegie（戴尔卡耐基）的How to Win Friends and influence People《人性的弱点》Chapter 1-(If you want to gather honey, don't kick the beehive over.如果你想采蜂蜜，就不要把蜂窝踢开)
第一章节有三段话：
第一段
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
翻译：批评毫无作用，因为它让被批评的人处于一种自我保护的状态，而且竭尽全力地为自己的错误辩解。批评也是很危险的，因为它会伤害到每一个人宝贵的自尊，伤害到一个人的自重感，最终激起怨恨。
第二段
B.F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behaviour will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticising, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
翻译：一位世界名著的心理学家BF斯丁尔通过他的试验证明了：一只动物学习那些它认为是正确的行为会十分迅速，而且记得更牢固。这远远比通过惩罚他们错误的行为来教育他们更为有效、迅速。随后，这个试验用到人的身上。通过批评，人们一般不会改变已成习惯，而且往往激起怨恨和不满。
第三段
Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favour of it. But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others – yes, and a lot less dangerous. ‘Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof,’said Confucious, ‘when your own doorstep is unclean.’
翻译：你知道有人愿意被人改变，被别人规范，被别人改进吗？很好，没有这样的人。可是，我们都喜欢做这样的事。那为什么你不从改变你自己，规范你自己，从提高你自己开始呢？从一个很自私的立场来看，改变、规范、提高你自己，比起你去提高别人更为有益。而且，这样做，你冒的风险也小了很多，孔子说”己所不欲，勿施于人。
课程笔记
重点词汇
1.futile adj. having no purpose because there is no chance of success 徒然的；徒劳的；无效的=【S】pointless
2.strive v. to try very hard to achieve sth 努力；奋斗；力争；力求
3，resentment n. a feeling of anger or unhappiness about sth that you think is unfair 愤恨；怨恨
4.apply to v. to use sth or make sth work in a particular situation 使用；应用
5.incur v. if you incur sth unpleasant, you are in a situation in which you have to deal with it 招致；遭受；引起
6.regulate v. to control sth by means of rules （用规则条例）约束，控制，管理
7.favour n. approval or support for sb/sth 赞同；支持
口语转化表达
-设问，引人入胜：
Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? If no, why is that? The world-famous psychologist B. F. Skinner proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behaviour will learn much more rapidly and retain (far more) effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. So, by criticising, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
摆观点，引经据典：
Criticism is futile/pointless/useless because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. Just like Confucious once said, ‘Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.’
亮态度，指条路：
I am all in favor of this idea. So, from a purely selfish standpoint, the more profitable way to improve others is to begin on yourself.
最后我们来总结下今日我们学习的内容，我们从和异性交往的现象出发，试图寻找人际关系的本质，采用戴尔卡耐基的《人性的弱点》书中的第一章第一节的观点作为听力和阅读材料，然后学习了词汇的用法，更重要的是，我们稍微调整了下结构就成为了一篇四六级/考研/雅思托福作文的语料库素材，今天不仅积累了素材，还学会了交友相处之道。下期节目再会。
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