面对生活的困境，最好的应对方法是什么？
Now ,there are many people who say,well,things happen for the best.
Actually, I don’t believe that.
What I am saying is that hardships happen,and difficulties happen.我要说的是，我们会遇到艰难的事情，也会遇到困难。
Yes ,we wish these traumas didn’t happen,these difficulties didn’t happen ,but they do.
To greeter or lesser extent,in different lives and again,you have the extreme examples that are terrible and less extreme examples.But are also not enjoyable or fun.
The question is not weather they’re good or bad.
Of course,it’s a terrible thing that it happened,but he did.
And the question is,what do you do with it once happened?
And there you have a choice.You don’t have a choice often about it happening or not it did.But you have a choice about how you deal with what happened.
Basically I’m gonna give you two answers.
The first answer is the easy one,it’s about helping you not eliminating those difficult things.That’s not possible,but about getting the tools to better deal with these things.
It’s about strengthening our psychological immune system.
A strong immune system doesn’t mean we don’t get sick.It means we get sick less often.
When we do get sick we recover more promptly.
But the more difficult one is that the key if we want to shift the needle meaning we want our overall well-being to be better even if it’s ups and downs in difficult times.
What we need to introduce are small changes consistently.
It’s unlikely to be a sudden revelation.
Now I see the light and my life has transformed.
It doesn’t happen that way.
Rather it happens incrementally.
Just like on a plane,you looking at the map on a plane,and let’s say you’re flying from Israel to the United States.
You don’t see the plane moving on the map,and you wake up 4 hours later.
And then you see the plane has moved a little bit or a lot.
This is the way change happens.
You don’t see it as it’s happening,but if you introduce small changes consistently,then it accumulates.
What are those small changes even a small change of introducing a gratitude practice or even a small change like don’t keep the phone next to you in the morning these are small changes.
If they are applied consistently they can make a big different change.Consistently done small changes can and do make big difference.
So what I am saying are two things.
First of all,it’s possible to bring about changes.
This is the basic premise.And if one thing doesn’t help you then do another thing,some people don’t connect to journaling or gratitude,but they connect to exercise and breathing practice.
It doesn’t matter but experiment with different things.see what works.
And second thing when you find something that works,even a little bit ,persist with it.
So it’s not about doing a million things each one once,but rather doing one thing or two things a million times.
Small changes consistently applied make big difference and that’s also manageable.
It’s not like so I have to radically change the way I see life.
Maybe you will maybe you won’t doesn’t matter,what matter is what practices do you introduce .
The other thing the idea of the permission to be human,allow yourself to experience the sadness or the difficulty or the hardship or the challenges.
Because when we fight them,and we say 5 years ago I felt a lot better.
I should feel the same way again,you’re immediately adding a second level of pain to the already existing pain.
If I say to myself Tal come on,you should be an expert in happiness,how come you’re going through a hard time during this pandemic.
You should be above that.
What happens when I say that?Immediately more pain.
Whereas if I say to myself I’m human, I experience this and really allow myself to experience it.
Then it goes in and comes out.It flows naturally.
I‘ve said a few things just to summarize:small changes consistently applied makes a big difference and finally permission to be human,allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions.
Note:
Tal Ben Shahar's sharing .